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"What would you have to say about being lost?"

“

I assume you mean lost on your path?

If so, I believe you can never truly be 'lost'.

Maybe inquisitive, maybe curious, maybe even frustrated with what you are dealing with currently.

But never lost.

Because being 'lost' is integrated in the process of re-discovering your path again.

If we always knew we were on the right path, plodding along - never 'lost' - sooner or later, we would start to question, 'is this the right path, am I lost?'

Leading to self-inflicted chaos of you not believing you are on the right path.

Instead, if we just went with the flow, maintained faith, kept hope in the present, allowing ourselves to be 'lost' (whilst knowing we are not 'lost' and actually on our correct paths), being 'lost' wouldn't even be a thought.

_

I'm such a hypocrite.

I need to integrate this into my life.

I worry and stress way to much about:

'Is this where I need to be?

'Am I doing everything I can at all times to accomplish my goals?

'Should I be doing something else?'

”

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"You're open in the sense that once someone asks - once someone pinpoints the specifics - you will tell them about it, however, you will not spill your secrets out yourself.”

_

I have realised that I have been hiding.

For a very long time.

Within my identity.

What I need at this point is to ditch the muteness.

Step into the light.

And into connection.

_

I share so little and I am affected so much.

And I suspect that I am far from alone in this.

In my censorship, I mute, and I silence entire regions of myself, my experience and my identity, and it harms me.

The only antidote I have found for this, is courage, and on the path to this courage is the vulnerability that fuels connection.

When I decide to hide rather than stepping wholeheartedly into the light, I give others less to connect to; I rob myself of the situations, circumstances and relationships which serve my full self; my hidden self; the part of me that is confided to the shadows.

If I want to be served, if I want my relationships to be conducive to honouring who I truly am, I need to show up in my entirety.

That means rescuing that hidden identity from the depths of muteness.

Thankfully, I have all of the tools to do so; the device that I can affect this with is courage, and the medium through which I can engender these changes is conversation.

I need to start facing the conversations that I am not having...

_

Read the full article, "the conversations we are not having" at www.pdproject.co.uk/pdposts/7

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[ Mediocrity - "Of ordinary or moderate quality." ]

“

If I had realised earlier that 'mediocrity was for the masses,' then I would have been liberated much sooner.

I would have used it not as an excuse for complacency, but rather noticed that it relaxed the girdle of my motivation - my lofty expectations, comparisons and self-critique.

If I had realised that it was indeed okay - and not shameful - to be mediocre, I would have been able to find joy in whatever it was that I applied myself to much earlier. I would have done away with the expectation of greatness - forgone would have been the constant pressure for 'progress', 'success' or notoriety.

I would have applied this to everything, my physical health being the most profitable. If I had realised that I didn’t have to be a world-beater at everything I did, I probably wouldn’t have trained so hard, and seen more results in the process.

I wouldn’t have been arriving at the gym thinking that I could 'rest when I'm dead' and that I had to leave my all on the training mat. I probably wouldn’t have burnt out, exacerbating a 1-month injury into a 15-month setback and an inhibiting lifelong condition.

No doubt, I would have realised that I enjoy many things quite a lot, and that was enough for fulfilment. I would have realised that I could leave the 'elite-level' performance to the professionals. I wouldn’t have felt like I was constantly on the back foot, having to make up for lost time or substitute natural talent with graft.

I have a feeling that I would, in general, have allowed myself to enjoy my endeavours for what they have to give me rather than what validation of my expectations that I seek to attain from them.

I would have realised that these passions are here to serve me, not me them.

I wouldn’t have turned up to so many things to succeed, but rather, to enjoy. I would have realised that most things only serve your success after they serve your fulfilment.

I would have realised that I would benefit from separating my self-worth from my achievements, from my performance, and from my output.

If I had realised earlier, that mediocrity - by definition - was for the masses, I would have been able to accept that prodigious status wouldn’t follow me around everywhere. That it indeed wasn’t a prerequisite to success, enjoyment or fulfilment. I would have been able to just live, do and enjoy, without constantly falling short of nonsensical high-expectations.

”

It is a shame I hadn’t realised this earlier...